Spoiler alert: this is a rant post, probably about feminism. I don’t know why you’re surprised, frankly.
So, earlier last week a video of a woman walking around New York City getting catcalled went viral. You know what I’m talking about so I am not going to explain the video. It was met with vehement backlash from the extremely vocal Women Against Feminism (WAF) community, and its A Voice for Men (hereafter referred to as AVFM) minions. It sparked a fire in me that just had to rant about a few things this week.
If you have never had the privilege of conversing with these people, count yourself lucky – the anti-feminist circle jerk on Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, Tumblr, and Imgur is sometimes almost too much to bear. Because, as we all know, (according to AVFM and the WAF movement), feminists are men hating, baby killing sluts, that want to crush the patriarchy and take over the world all while somehow managing to tame their long, luxurious armpit hair. And according to many, we are well on our way! Didn’t you know? There’s a whole movement that has been started globally to destroy and kill all the men.
Or so they tell me on the “internet.”
Which is obviously a bunch of bullshit, needless to say. Recently, I was kindly linked by a very vocal anti-fem (as I will call them from now on) to an article about a group of people that actually wanted to kill all men. “SEE!?” they shout at me, “see how your feminist brethren want to kill all the men!? How do you not know that the true definition of feminism is, by nature, inherently anti-male?”
Whoa whoa whoa. Hold on there. I must have missed the kill all the men memo at our weekly “crush the patriarchy” jamboree. For you see, us feminists don’t actually want to kill the men. Some of us even are men. All we want is to be treated equally, and fairly, around the world, at the same level that most men in the Western world are. Is that so much to ask? Apparently, it is. Because apparently, by calling yourself a feminist, you are being sexist right off the get go, because it means you are only paying attention to the problems facing half of the world. Because in reality, the wage gap is a myth, rape culture isn’t real, and women in the western world have never had things better than they do right now.
But that’s not true, is it. For example, I myself care very much about the entire world, including issues that face men every day, like a higher rate of incarceration for the same crimes committed by women in North America, the huge debate on Father’s Rights, and the high rates in male homelessness, to name a few.
I’m not going to talk about the wage gap or rape culture. I’ve already talked about rape culture in an earlier blog, and talking about the wage gap is pointless, because the non believers’ argument is just as ridiculous as the “all feminists want to kill all men” argument – the wage gap isn’t as big as reported by the Obama administration. Which always makes me laugh. As John Oliver put it, if you shit on my desk, it doesn’t matter what the size of the shit is – you still shit on my fucking desk.
So – catcalling, my original subject. And approaching women on dating media applications, while we’re here. The treatment of women online and on the streets or in bars is sometimes appalling. It happens quite frequently. I hear it from my friends that are bartenders, I myself have had some gems sent my way on OkCupid and the like, and as we all know, it happens on the street when you’re just trying to live your damn life. And here’s the thing. No – not every guy does shit like this. This is true! And in fact, it’s so true, that there’s really no need for anyone to reiterate that fact every time someone brings up these issues.
If you don’t harass women online, or say completely inappropriate shit to them on the street or in bars, good for you. Give yourself a pat on the back. And then shut the fuck up. Because we are not talking about those that don’t do it. We are talking about those that do. So stop derailing the conversation because you want to make it clear that not everyone and their mum’s dog does this shit. Because we already know that. Listen to what these people have to say.
But wait! Hold on a minute! Women wouldn’t care if the men were attractive.
Which is so ri-god-damn-dicuous it makes my brain want to explode. I don’t care if you are the best looking guy on earth. If you are harassing someone online or in person, it still makes you a class A douche waffle, and no one wants any of that.
But wait! Hold on a minute! They are just saying hello, and that’s not a big deal. Whatever happened to being friendly? So, if you’re just saying hello, then why not do it to guys, too? (Side note, this argument started a fantastic twitter campaign)
I guess, the bottom line of my rant here is that I am getting pretty sick and tired of the stigma that anti fems have attached to feminism these days, and every time a campaign comes out to bring attention to an issue, such as the catcalling one, everyone decides that it’s time to derail the conversation, and burn those at the stake that would have you discuss issues that are in desperate need of discussion.